Expectations Can Get You Lost

“It’s A-L-M-O-O Street .”

“Got it, Alamo St.”

“No…No…Al-moo…you know, moo like a cow.”

“Oh, ok. I’ve got it Alamo. Thanks.”

*Sigh*

That’s a package that’s not likely to make it here....

I blogging about expectations and final destinations over at Strings Attached...Won't you come join me?

Following My Own Rules

Hmmmm.....so tonight I learned a valuable lesson- I am a very smart mom.  Who knew?

Probably has something to do with coming from a long line of smart moms and dads and having a fabulous husband to bounce ideas off of, but nevertheless, I learned tonight that I might have a tiny smidge of insight into parenting. I totally ROCK! :-)

Ok, I can't take all the credit...my husband helps too.

Today, I learned that I set some pretty awesome rules sometimes! You see, in our quest to be more structured in our evening routine and hopefully (in some round about logic) prevent the perpetual tardiness we experienced last school year, Charlie and I instituted a new rule in our home.

No computer, TV, or video games until 7 pm, and only after all school and extracurricular assignments are complete.  


I ain't gonna lie though...I was terrified when we called the family meeting to discuss the new rules.  I just knew the kids would whine and complain and we would have to fight EVERY night to keep the rule in place. And the beauty is WE HAVEN"T! For over a week now, they have accepted the rule and all that it entails as law and haven't bucked it once.

But in the interest of full disclosure and tying this allegory up nicely- I have to be honest. I haven't followed my own rule. Nope, I Facebook while I am waiting for dinner to cook and check and return email while the kids are doing homework. Or I did.  But God got a hold of me and I realized that I wasn't following my own rules.  I wasn't willing to lead from the front...OUCH!

So tonight I decided to discipline myself and unplug until 7 pm...And it turns out- I am a very smart mom.  I knew what I was doing when I set that rule in place! I sit here, at 9:30 pm with the dishes done, the living room cleaned, the downstairs vacuumed, lunches packed for tomorrow, dinner prepared, eaten around the dinner table and put away AND I ventured down the street to connect with a friend I haven't seen in a while....All before 7 PM.   I just gave myself back two hours of my day I had forgotten I had.  I totally rock!

What about you? What rules do you set for others, but don't follow yourself? 

Guest Post- Joy the Color of Fireflies

My sweet friend, Holley Gerth, who blogs her heart at Heart to Heart with Holley, has a way of making my heart sing, "Amen, Sister!" with her words.  I want to share some of them with you today! If they make yours sing too, won't you go leave her a comment on here or over at her bloggy home.

Joy the Color of Fireflies

The sky is inky blue, a swirl of dark and light. Day and night do a slow dance before the moon rises high above the trees. The music we can't hear beckons the fireflies from their hiding places. One by one they appear, little lights twinkling against the backdrop of an early summer evening.

I first caught fireflies as a girl of seven or so. Taking my brother and I to the porch, my grandmother handed us a mason jar. "Be gentle," I'm sure she told us.

Then she watched and smiled from the edge of the flowerbed in a wheelchair.(She had polio at age 29, younger than I am now.)

I don't know where these creatures live, what they do in the winter, why they come again...but I do know each one is like a bright and beautiful memory floating through the air.

And, because of this, I still catch those flickers of brightness even though childhood has long gone. I place them (gently, yes) into jars, water bottles, whatever I can find. When I have twenty or so I let them go and watch the homemade fireworks display.

Saturday I did this for the first time of the season. Our dear friends, Sean and Kim, were there. We sat on the patio and as the fireflies appeared, I begged my guests to go with me. Sean joined the chase while Mark and Kim watched from the patio at our crazy zig-zags across the yard.

In my firefly moments I feel more alive, happy, and closer to heaven than I do almost any other time all year. It's as if everything that's sweet, good, and right is made real in tiny flashes of light as I think of my Grandma and all she taught me of joy.

In the hospital after being told she would never walk again, her pastor said,"Frances, you can choose to let this make you bitter or better." She would tell me again and again with a twinkle in her eyes, "I chose better."

My Nana knew joy, like a firefly, flits about you. But if you are serious about it, you must pursue it. And she knew joy, like a firefly, often comes surrounded by darkness. Perhaps that is what makes it so brilliant and beautiful.

Yes, on the porch beneath a summer sky I still sense my grandmother's smile. And as the last lingering firefly disappears into the night I smile too...knowing I'm sure to find it (and joy) another summer evening or, when least expected, it will once more find me.

What's a little thing that brings you joy?

The Tight-Clenched Fist

“Pressure kills everything it touches.” – John Eldredge

PUSH THROUGH!

That’s my instinct…Go til I drop. Do it all.

Don’t say “No!”

Or

“I quit!”

or heaven forbid

“I can’t!”

I surrender. Please, help me. These are not part of my standard vocabulary. They should be…but they aren’t.

I guess I thought if my cup running over was a good thing, my plate running over would be even better!

I am doing some of the most rewarding work in my life, but it is also some of the most exhausting. I have had to be super disciplined with my schedule, specifically creating time to write. The problem with that? “Pressure kills everything it touches.”- especially creativity.

I am back to stealing moments of quiet, quick breaths above water before being buried by the next wave. I am drowning in a sea of my own created chaos, trying to impose some sense of order with an iron fist, and I realized that “pressure kills.”

So here I am, Lord, opening the tight-clenched fist. Softening to you, again. Letting go of the control, I surrender, Lord. Guide me with your peace, Lord. Let your words flow through me again…and help me to create the time and space to share them. I invite you into this controlling place of my heart and ask you to heal me here. Show me the why and the how of it. Show me, guide me, help me restore order to our lives. Dear Father,everything I have is yours. I give it all to you.

What about you? What is it that you control with an iron fist? What is God asking you to surrender?

Guest Post- When You Don't Know the Next Step

Holley Gerth is one of my new favorite authors...who am I kidding? She's one of my new favorite people. This post is from her blog, Heart to Heart with Holley, and it spoke to me volumes about where I am in my walk right now. I am honored to share it with you!

When you don't know the next step...

I see you peering down the path.

Wondering, can I do this?

Am I enough?

Yes to both.

And then asking, Do I take this step?

I've asked this question too...staring at the ceiling in the night, over coffee with friends, driving in my car.

Then I think of this verse, this bit of wisdom from Proverbs 19:21--

You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail.

If we've prayed, asked wise counsel, then we can go with confidence. Even if our first step is imperfect, perhaps not even in quite the right direction, God will align us with His purpose by the end.

But here's the thing.

You can't redirect someone who is standing still.

Yes, there are seasons for staying.

This is about the seasons of going, setting out, those times when your heart is restless and your feet are ready.

If that's you then go without fear.

God is with you, for you, behind you, and ahead of you.

And even if you lose your way for a bit. Even if you grow weary. Even if you don't know which direction to go at times. His purposes will prevail.

Take that step, woman of courage.

And know that love goes with you all the way.

What I learned on my summer vacation....

In true fifth grade style, I am writing my "what I did on my summer vacation" essay. And in true fifth grade style, my desire is to simply say, "lots!"

We had a beautiful family adventure across country. First the 1100 mile trek from Arkansas to Maryland for my husband's stepbrother's wedding, and then to the Outer Banks of North Carolina for a relaxing week of sand and surf and then the 1300 mile trip back....wooh, that's a lot of driving!

Ever the dutiful writer, I brought my new prayer journal for all the epiphanies God would show me in my quiet time at sunrise on the beach, and my big 5 subject notebook for all the essays I would write from the great life lessons I learned, and my computer for all the blog posts I would write about my adventures, and even a couple of steno pads for the times when I just felt like jotting brilliant ideas down. I headed out on our adventure, eyes wide open, pen in hand, eagerly awaiting a blog-worthy moment like paparazzi waiting for the latest starlet to hop out of her car with a too-short mini skirt. AND, well, guys...I got nuthin'.  

Oh, I tried...I tried hard to write. I got up at sunrise and sat in the quiet light of the sun and the whoosh whoosh of the waves...I hauled paper pads with us everywhere lest I be caught unaware by the writing bug....but nothing.  Words wouldn't flow from my pen.  My mind was blank....Even God was remarkably quiet about writing.  And, frankly, I was a little more than disappointed by that.

And then, one day, after forcing words into a what I called a "poem" just to say I had written SOMETHING, I, in a fit of petulance, I cried  out to God, "What is going on!?"

"Don't write, Cari. ENGAGE! Play! Relax! There is no lesson here except be present with your family and have some fun. Put away your notebook.  The words will come when the time is right."

And then I realized that I was viewing my life through spectator's eyes. I was constantly seeking an opportunity to turn life into an object lesson because that's what I love to do...to turn the everyday life story into an universal lesson on life, but I had begun to view my entire life that way and I had stopped ENGAGING the people I love. 

How great is God to gently shove me back in the game by silencing my words, knowing that I desperately needed that time of connection with my husband and kids and that I would not choose it for myself because I didn't realize that I had forgotten how. That is what he is teaching me now...through stories like this:

A Zen monk, being chased by a bear runs off a cliff. As he is falling, he grabs a branch. He looks up and sees the bear leaning over the cliff, clawing at his head and missing only by inches. As the monk looks down to the ground, about fifteen feet below him, he sees a lion leaping up, missing his feet only by inches. As he looks at the branch he is clutching, he sees two groundhogs gnawing away at it. He watches as his lifeline disappears, bite by bite. As the monk takes a long, deep breath, he notices, next to his branch, a clump of wild strawberries. In the middle of the clump is a great, red, juicy strawberry. With his one free hand, the Zen monk reaches over, picks the strawberry, puts it in his mouth, chews it slowly and says, "Ah ... delicious."


So, I learned to eat strawberries again. 


I am learning to be intentional again. To be present in the moment and take joy in it. To participate in it. It is a beautiful time of renewal for me. So if the posts seem sparse over here, please know that I am in the midst of a wonderful season of growth, and bear with me. I will return with stories soon enough.


In the meantime, what has God been teaching you lately?

Guest Post - Worrying too much about trends - Jon Acuff

www.stuffchristianslike.net/book/

I am so excited to feature one of my favorite bloggers as a guest, Jon Acuff from Stuff Christians Like. Jon uses satire to pull back the veil on the things we do and say as Christians and take a hilarious look at them.  On Wednesdays, Jon breaks a down a bit and gets really reflective. He calls these posts "Serious Wednesday" posts. This Wednesday was all about community, relationship and loneliness.  I hope you enjoy!

Even though I’m not wearing 45 belt loops Z-Cavaricci’s I got at Chess King and ladies have far less perms, our neighborhood pool is very similar to my high school cafeteria.

On one end you have the cool table, populated by neighbors who have lived in our subdivision the longest. They drink beer, get tougher than leather tan (Run DMC reference) and feel compelled to play Bon Jovi’s “Dead or Alive,” approximately 37 times.

On the other end you have a grab bag of dorks, which includes me. This is the end where the guy who swims in a speedo is. This is the end where the first time parents are, a curious couple who have used SPF1000 on their child, creating what appears to be a miniature stay puff marshmallow man from the movie Ghostbusters. Just a floaty wearing, encased in thick white sunscreen monster terrorizing the pool in a swim diaper.

And make no mistake. I am a dork. I had approximately 2 friends in high school, got rejected from every fraternity in college and once shaved a Vanilla Ice stripe in my left eyebrow. That’s right, I emulated Vanilla Ice.

I’m just not a trendy person, but despite that, people often ask me, “What’s next? What are the trends that will matter in the next five years?” That’s a good question and I think I have the answer. I think I have an idea that is not only going to change our next 5 years, but probably our next 500, that’s if Burger King serving ribs was not a sign of the impending apocalypse and we actually do make it another 500.

But the thing is, I’m not the one who actually decided this idea was important. I didn’t brain storm or create it, God did. And it kind of punched me in the face when I saw it the other day in Genesis.

In chapter 2, he starts getting down to business and dealing with some serious issues. The first one he addresses is the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. There is death involved and it makes sense that he would so quickly address that situation. But what is the second issue he focuses on? In God’s economy, what is the next big topic he covers as critically important?

Loneliness.

Immediately following a statement about death, God says in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for man to be alone.”

I knew it was important, I knew that loneliness was a painful thing that hurts lots of people but I honestly didn’t see how big it was until God so quickly dealt with it in Genesis.

When people ask me what trends matter with Twitter or Social Media or the Internet, I often tell them, “The same things that have always mattered.” You see Twitter and Facebook are just mediums. The message, the core issues that really shape people are the same things that we’ve always dealt with. Loneliness, joy, incompleteness, sadness, hope. Twitter is just a vehicle, things like loneliness are what matters.

Why?

Right now, we have thousands of friends who know the Facebook version of us.

Right now, we can distract you from what we want to hide with mountains of tweets and status updates and rivers of words.

Right now we have more tools than ever before to be someone we’re really not.

Right now, we are connected to more people and known by less.

If you want to change your neighborhood or your church or your whole community, don’t worry about trends. Focus on truths. Focus on the things God cares about, the things he’s always cared about from the very second chapter of the Bible.

And if you’re lonely, if you’ve created social media scaffolding that presents one view to the world in the hope that you can hide what’s really inside, please know this – God loves you.

God cares for the lonely. His heart beats loud and true and open to the lonely. God has always cared for the lonely. And all trends aside, the truth is, he always will.